Fun-Paper - Period of low activity: Exams

Hi,

Due to my exams, there will be a very low activity on the site.
Sorry for that, but after that period I'm planning to boost things up...
Own host, own domain, wordpress and multiple writers are plans that are spinning in my head.

I hope that everybody understands that I can't maintain the site during exams

Best regards,
D'Haese Robin

Fun-Paper - Sorry!

Due to some problems I was unable to post something yesterday.
Today you can espect the content from yesterday and today.
Best regards

Fun-Paper - Bunny born with two noses

A Connecticut pet shop worker found the nosey bunny in a delivery of 6-week-old dwarf rabbits that arrived at the Milford store last week. Both noses have two nostrils.



The owner of the Purr-Fect Pets shop says he’s never seen anything like it in 25 years in the business. He says the bunny eats, drinks and hops around like the rest of the litter.

Beardsley Zoo director Gregg Dancho says the deformity could be the result of too much inbreeding or the parents’ exposure to pesticides or poisons.

Store workers have begun a naming contest with Cyrano de Bergerac and Deuce among the contenders so far.

Fun-Paper - Pornstar wanted to blow 200 man, but failed after the 75th

Pornoster Carolin Berger went resolutely for the world record blowing, but she failed. She wanted to blow 200 men, but after the 75the her attempt ended in the hospital. Choking phenomena was the diagnosis.

To bad for the other 125 men. A famous German tv-presentator, which also took part, offers €30.000 for not spreading the movie that has been taken during the attempt.

Fun-Paper - 18 year old drives highway in wrong direction with moped

In the Netherlands, the Police picked a 18-year which was driving the wrong direction with a moped on the highway up. The young man drove with a passenger behind at the traffic when he wanted to escape a police control. He drove without license, uninsured and without helmet.

The culprit already tried moving ghost to leave the highway and a gas station through a ditch to run away. There the police could arrest him. His 14-year-old passenger from Den Haag stated that he had nothing to do with it and just feld in the ditch.

The moped, with a German license plate is taken by the police...

Fun-Paper - Man arrested for 153rd time

Paul Baldwin was arrested for the 153rd time Sunday, a week after he completed a one-year jail sentence for stealing a $1.99 can of beer.



Arraigned June 1 by video from the Rockingham County House of Corrections, Baldwin, 49, with no fixed address, was charged with a class A misdemeanor count of simple assault alleging he hit someone in the face in Market Square. He told the court he didn’t want a lawyer and was prepared to plead guilty, but prosecutor Rena DiLando said her office has not had time to contact the alleged victim for input.

DiLando petitioned the court for $5,000 cash bail, noting that Baldwin’s criminal history is so lengthy she didn’t have time to read it all. She said he was also cited twice for violation-level offenses during his first week out of jail, once for a trespassing on the railroad tracks and another time for having an open container of beer.

Baldwin told Judge Sawako Gardner he went to the district court last week to apologize to her for a remark he made during an arraignment a year ago.

“I don’t need a lawyer,” he told the judge in May of 2008. “I’ve been in this court more than you have.”

Baldwin said Monday he shouldn’t have made the comment, adding, “I think I was intoxicated.”

“All I need is help with the drinking, your honor,” he said, while reporting that he attended AA meetings regularly during his year in the county jail.

The judge set bail at $1,500 cash and $2,000 personal recognizance and ordered him to have no contact with the alleged assault victim. If he is able to post bail, he is also court-ordered to observe a 7 p.m. curfew.

Baldwin also expressed his intent to plead guilty to the pair of violations, carrying a total of $450 in fines. He was scheduled to return to the court on June 16 to address all three matters.

Baldwin wore a surgical mask during his arraignment due to a respiratory illness which has not yet been diagnosed, according to a jail spokesman.

Last May he was described in the district court as “a leech on the resources of this community” after he was caught stealing a can of beer from the Islington Street Mobil On The Run. Former prosecutor Corey MacDonald said Baldwin is “a leech” and cited his criminal history as including eight trespass notices, 75 citations, four Social Security aliases and convictions for thefts, receiving stolen property, arson and criminal mischief.

“We deal with Paul Baldwin more than anyone else,” he said.

Fun-Paper - Site Update!

Hi!
As you've all noticed, a few things are changed on the site..

This are the changes:
- "Picture of the day!": Every day a new, funny picture
- "One liner of the day!": Every day a new, famous and funny one liner
- "Joke of the week!": Every week a new joke
- "Saturdays funniest vid": every saturday a funny video will be posted
- If possible, 3 to 5 posts a day
- Some theme changes
- Ability to create links to your own blog when you use content
- Some SEO

I hope you'll like the changes!

Fun-Paper - Russian village attacked by own navy

A Russian warship accidentally fired a rocket salvo during an exercise last night. They came right to a Russian village. The rockets feld on a russian village.


Nobody hurt
The ship fired more than ten missiles, but strangely enough no one got hurt. The only damage was a broken car window.

The russian navy already hasn't the best name. Since the collapse of the Soviet Union the where plagued by accidents, such as the incident with the Kursk submarine in 2000. There were 118 deaths.

Fun-Paper - Postcard Arrives after 40 Years

Postcard sent in 1966 by a student to his parents has finally arrived after 40 years.

Zygmunt Kubiczak, the author of the postcard, said: "Since 1966 Poland has gone through martial law and thrown off the communist system, Jan Pawel II has been elected Pope, served his term and passed away.

"I've managed to get married, bring up two children, sail round the world on a boat, survive a serious heart operation and to retire. And all the time, that card was travelling on it's way."

Mr Kubiczak's parents are no longer alive and the postcard was only recovered thanks to helpful neighbours, who sent it on when it arrived at his parent's old address.

Fun-Paper - Students played 'frisbee' with land mine

Two Swiss students on holiday played frisbee with an object they found on a beach unaware it was a live land mine.

Lukas Aider, 20, and Christoph Kurz, 19, took a plunge in the Danube river in Budapest when they found the mine and began their potentially lethal game.

A lifeguard watching stopped them and immediately called the police.

A bomb squad then arrived to make safe what turned out to be an old Soviet 6 kilogrammes anti-tank mine.

Fun-Paper - McDonalds worker hides weed stash in Happy Meal

A McDonalds worker hid his stash of wacky backy in a happy mean box, which was then given to a child.

"Daddy, I got two toys in my happy meal!"

We realize that you have to disguise your stash when you go to work, but hiding your pipe, marijuana and lighter in a happy meal box is a dangerous idea. Why?

You might hand your stash right out the drive through window. That's what one McDonald's employee in Ottawa, Illinois did, and as you might imagine, everyone—even the police chief — is laughing at him. The employee is a 17 year-old high school senior, he's been arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. From FoxChicago:

"Police admit that many in the town find the incident... funny.

Police Chief: "I'd be rather surprised if at any time in the rest of my career I see something like this happen again."

Oh, Illinois! We miss you and your perpetually stoned populace.

Fun-Paper - Attempted armed robbery ends in group hug

Police on Capitol Hill are baffled by an attempted robbery that began with a handgun put to the head of a teenager and ended in a group hug.
It started about midnight on June 16 when a group of friends was finishing a dinner of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp on the back patio of a District of Columbia home. That's when a hooded man slid through an open gate and pointed a handgun at the head of a 14-year-old girl.

"Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," he said, according to D.C. police and witnesses.

Everyone froze, including the girl's parents. Then one guest spoke.

"We were just finishing dinner," Cristina Rowan, 43, told the man. "Why don't you have a glass of wine with us?"

The intruder had a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupery and said, "Damn, that's good wine."

The girl's father, Michael Rabdau, 51, told the intruder to take the whole glass, and Rowan offered him the whole bottle.

The robber, with his hood down, took another sip and a bite of Camembert cheese. He put the gun in his sweatpants.

The story then turns even more bizarre.

"I think I may have come to the wrong house," he said before apologizing. "Can I get a hug?"

Rowan, who works at her children's school and lives in Falls Church, Va., stood up and wrapped her arms around the armed man. The four other guests followed.

"Can we have a group hug?" the man asked. The five adults complied.

The man walked away a few moments later with the crystal wine glass in hand. Nothing was stolen, and no one was hurt.

Once he was gone, the group walked into the house, locked the door and stared at each other - speechless. Rabdau called 911, and police came to take a report and dust for fingerprints.

Police classified the case as strange but true. Investigators have not located a suspect. The witnesses thought he might have been high on drugs.

"We've had robbers that apologize and stuff but nothing where they sit down and drink wine. It definitely is strange," said Cmdr. Diane Groomes, adding that the hugs were especially unusual. "The only good thing is they would be able to identify him because they hugged him."

Fun-Paper - Polish builder sacked for humping hoover

A Polish building contractor working at London's Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital was given his marching orders after a security guard caught him having sex with a Henry Hoover, the Sun reports.
he Henry HooverThe unnamed perv was supposed to be locking up the site, at hospital admin offices, but was instead discovered in the staff canteen "naked and on his knees with the smiling cleaner". The "horrified" guard told the chap to "clean himself and the hoover", then ejected him from the premises. The unnamed vacuum-molestor later told his bosses he was actually cleaning his underwear, describing this habit as "a common practice in Poland". His employer, HG Construction, was having none of it. The company said: "That behaviour is not acceptable, though it gave a few people a laugh."

Fun-Paper - Record-Breaking Breasts

One woman stopped at nothing to achieve her twin dreams: a 38KKK bust, and a world record

We were already fairly impressed last April, when we heard (via ABC) that one Sheyla Hershey traveled to Houston for a boob job. And not just any boob job: An enhancement bound for the record books. Because after eight surgeries and a full gallon of silicone, the petite model/actress was a staggering 34 FFF.


Still, Hershey wanted more! And she was determined to get it. When her boyfriend begged her to stop, she broke up with him (note to men: You have to support our dreams, no matter how deluded and life-threatening silly they might seem!).

But Hershey was forced to settle with her FFF mosquito bites because "the state of Texas has limits on the amount of silicone that can be injected into breast implants," noted ABC. Reading this, we found ourselves impressed by Texas, because we didn't think it was the kind of state to impose limits on such things, what with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and the state priding itself on everything being bigger there and whatnot.

But, as Hershey discovered through diligent research, they have no such restraint in Brazil! And so now, after a ninth surgery, she's the proud owner of both a 38KKK bust (according to Britain's Daily Star) and the world record for largest breasts. We wonder if Guinness has a category for worst back pain.

Fun-Paper - Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator

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Fun-Paper - suicidal guy pushed off bridge by inpatient driver

A Chinese man has pushed a man which wanted to commit suicide from a bridge. The 66-year-old Lian Jiansheng thought the suicidal man was selfish because he was standing for hours on the bridge without jumping. It was the 12th time the pusher was stuck for several hours in the traffic because off suicides attempts. None off the 12 attempts succeeded.

Lian couldn’t take it anymore this time. He asked the police to talk to the desperate man, but he didn’t receive permission. The he climbed on the bridge himself and pushed the man down.

“They only want attention”
Lian said this on his arrest: “Those people don’t dare to kill themselves, they just want to have attention from the government for their problems.”

The man who wanted to commit suicide was caught by an emergency cushion placed by the authorities.

Fun-Paper - Bull in pool

To celebrate the completion of his new swimming pool, businessman Jamie Stewart invited a few friends and family over for a dip.

But the last thing the bemused host expected was to be disturbed by a gatecrasher - in the shape of a half-ton bull.

The massive animal had escaped from a nearby field and was being chased by farm-hands when he crashed into Mr. Stewart's garden - and dived headlong into the water.

And since such a large beast could hardly use the step-ladder to climb out, he was forced to tread water for the next three hours until firemen could drain away the water and hoist him back onto dry land.

  

Last night Mr. Stewart described his astonishment at the unexpected visitor who had taken the first swim in his new pool.

The 41-year-old said: "I absolutely couldn't believe my eyes. There was a bull swimming in our new pool.
"I think he had perfected his front crawl by the time he was rescued."

The dramatic pool-party took place on Friday. Work had just been completed on the luxury outdoor heated swimming pool Mr. Stewart had ordered for his home.

Workmen had spent the day pumping in ten thousand gallons of water and Mr. Stewart's guests started to arrive in the late afternoon for the inaugural swim.

However celebrations took a surprise turn when a two-year-old bull from a neighbouring farm jumped a fence and escaped from his pasture.

The young animal, whose full show-name is Broombrae Tramp, was apparently intent on making closer acquaintance with a herd of cows in another field.

But when his owner, farmer Alexander Jack, gave chase, the bull changed course and instead crashed into Mr. Stewart's garden.

The pool was covered at the time so the animal was unable to see the potential hazard, but immediately burst through the canvas and began to splash about in the four-foot deep water.

While neighbors, friends and family crowded round to watch the drama unfold, six firemen from the Fife brigade joined a local vet to help rescue the hapless party animal.

Mr. Stewart, a company director, added: "My family and I stood back and let the emergency services do all the work.

"I don't think they were terribly pleased with us - we stood in the garden with glasses of wine and shouted unhelpful suggestions."

Mr. Stewart's children Samantha, 12, Lucy, 10, and Fin bar, 7, were delighted with their unusual party guest.

He added: "The kids thought it was great. They were a bit disappointed that they didn't get to have the swim they were planning but they ended up with a much better story to tell their friends."

Mr. Stewart's partner Gillian runs Acorn nursery from the Kinaldy farmhouse, near St Andrews, but evacuated the children as a precaution.

A three hour rescue attempt saw a vet fire two tranquillizer bullets into the bull - nicknamed Pedro by firemen - before the pool was drained and the rescue crew used a digger to lift him out.

Broombrae Tramp is now recovering from his ordeal in a secure field.

The outdoor heated pool, designed by Alba Pools, will need minor repairs and to be refilled.

A spokeswoman for Fife Fire and Rescue said: "It was a very unusual call out but we sometimes deal with rescuing different animals.

"Our crews are comprehensively trained so they're used to dealing with surprise situations but in this case they did take all their directions from the vet who was called to the scene."

Farmer Mr. Jack, from Lahill Craig Farm in Upper Largo, added: "The bull is only two years old and is full of the joys of life. You know what young men are when they get beside a crowd of attractive women.

"Broombrae Tramp was bored being in our field and decided he'd join our neighbor's cows.

"Before we knew what had happened, he had jumped the fence and was headed for Jamie's swimming pool.

"We tried to catch him but our attempts to trap him in the next field went a bit askew.

"He's normally a very placid animal but he just wasn't willing to go home on Friday without a fight.

"Seeing the maiden cows got him a bit heated."

The farmer can only hope Broombrae Tramp's unexpected dip has cooled his passion.

Fun-Paper - White Rock dad busted after baby son calls 911

A baby boy playing with his dad’s telephone accidentally called 911, which led police to their house — and a 500-plant marijuana-growing operation.

Police said Tuesday the incident happened at about 11 a.m. Friday in the 14800 block of Goggs Avenue in White Rock.

When White Rock RCMP officers arrived at the rental house, they found the 11-month-old child fiddling with the phone while his 29-year-old dad sat watching television.

“He was surprised to see us,” Const. Janelle Canning said.

The 911 call was a hang-up call and police had heard no voices. The dad, whose name has not been released, protested that he hadn’t called 911 and his son didn’t know how to use the phone.

Nevertheless, police checked the place out because of the amount of condensation on the house’s windows and found the pot-growing operation in a locked room.

The dad was then arrested and was expected to appear in court in early April on charges of mischief and production of a controlled substance. The child, who Canning described as being a “very cute little boy,” was picked up by Ministry of Children and Family Development workers and released into his mom’s custody.

She is separated from his father and didn’t live at the house. “The mother claimed she had no idea what was going on,” Canning said.

“The ministry will continue their investigation to ensure ongoing protection of this child,” she added.

Police are especially concerned when children are living in houses used to grow pot. In this case, Canning noted, the child had no access to the locked room. But condensation, which encourages mould growth and the presence of spores in the air, is a health concern. So is the risk of fire from illegal hydro bypasses, though police didn’t find a bypass in this particular case. There’s also the risk of being targeted for a “grow rip,” or robbery.

“There’s a whole multitude of problems with having a grow-operation,” Canning said. “That’s why the ministry was called immediately.”

Canning recalled a case in south Surrey about two years ago when a newborn baby was taken into protective custody after police found the child in a house containing a pot-growing operation.

Fun-Paper - Clumsy German shoots off his own penis

A German has shot himself in his cross. The 27-year-old Lukas Neuhardt was being tough for his friends with his gun. He had forgotten the safety catch was on and when he putted the gun in his pocket it went off.

Ashamed he told the doctors that a mugger has shot him in the cross. A statement where the police quickly saw through. "Only in the pocket was a burn hole, thus whether it was the shot of the century, it was done by himself," said a police spokesman. 

After an operation waits a possible prison sentence of three years because of violation of the Arms law . The German government has recently strengthened this law after the massacre at a school in Winn Enden.

Fun-Paper - Joke review boosts T-shirt sales

A T-shirt has become one of the most popular items sold by online retailer Amazon in the past few weeks.

Sales of the kitsch Three Wolf Moon T-shirt shot up 2,300% after a spate of ironic reviews went viral.

The first review gave the shirt five stars, saying it "Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women" but "cannot see wolves with arms crossed".

That prompted hundreds of others to post frivolous reviews, turning the page into an internet phenomenon.

"When I put this T-shirt on for the first time, my wife left me! Thank you, Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt," wrote one wag, while another said that "the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt gave me a +10 resistance to energy attacks, +8 Strength... and I have successfully solved 7 crimes in my city".

Amazon's senior manager of community content, Russell Dicker, said the T-shirt was currently the top selling item in their clothing store.

"The Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt recently moved up 2,300% in sales rank," he said. "We are grateful that our reviewers are so passionate."

Publicity shy

However, the firm which actually makes the T-shirt appeared less than pleased at some of the comments.

"The Mountain is a wholesale company and does not sell shirts on Amazon, so this viral assault went under our radar until the shirt made it into the top 10 in the Amazon apparel section," they said in a posting on the Amazon site.

"We appreciate humor as much as the next company, but we don't approve of some of the remarks.

"Not everyone can start out at the top and not everyone from our neck of the woods lives in a trailer or cruises Wal-Mart to hook up."

However, speaking on Radio Five Live, the firms art director - Michael McGloin - said the firm were actually rather pleased with the publicity.

"We'll take ironic fashion any day.... and we're printing another 400,000 more t-shirts...it's just a fantastic thing," he said.

This is not the first time comedy reviews on Amazon have gone viral. In 2006, there were more than a thousand reviews for Tuscan Whole Milk.

They ranged from soap opera-style script - "That was when I knew. He was tired of this life with me, tired of bringing home the Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz" - to stating the obvious: "Has anyone else tried pouring this stuff over dry cereal? A-W-E-S-O-M-E!"